quinta-feira, 26 de fevereiro de 2015

Rental Car Return by Louis C. K.



I rented a car a couple weeks ago, in Los Angeles

I had the car for a few days and then when I went home I had to drop the car at the rental place.

You gotta go to the rental place that's off the airport, give them the car, give them your thing with the mileage.

You gotta get on a bus and then go to your terminal and check in.

I was late and I was worried about missing my flight.

So I knew I had no time to do any of that. So I just. I never did this before, I just drove my car right to the terminal and just left it there.

Then I got on the plane. Once I got on the plane and had a moment I called Hertz and I said, Hey, listen, your car is sitting out in front of terminal four and the keys are in it.

So, that's where it is." And the guy's like, "You can't do that."

"You have to return it to the location and then get"

Well, I didn't do that already, and now I'm leaving California.

So if you want your car you need to go to that place where it is.

And he was like, "Awww, Jesus man."

"Well, alright. We'll get it."

And he. That was the end of it.

And I realized I could do this every time, every time I rented a car.

Because of course they want you to do all that shit.

But if you don't they still want the car back.

They're going to send a dude. You could drive a car until you don't want it.

Just get out of it while it's moving and just walk away.

No, I don't feel like beingin that car any longer. Just call Hertz.

Hi, your car is drifting into the intersection of 28th and Broadway, if you're interested. 

quinta-feira, 19 de fevereiro de 2015

Liar Liar - Car Troubles (1997)


- What's your problem, schmuck? 
- l'm an inconsiderate prick! 
- Oh, shit ! - Shit!
- You know why l pulled you over? 
- Depends on how long you were following me! 
- Why don't we take it from the top? 
- Here goes. 
- l sped, l followed too closely, l ran a stop sign, l almost hit a Chevy, l sped some more, l failed to yield, l changed lanes without signaling while speeding! 
- ls that all? 
- No. 
- l have unpaid parking tickets.
- Be gentle. 
- Audrey ! Wait!
- Wait, Audrey. Ooh ! Hold on. Wait! 
- Wait. l just had an insight into myself. l'm crazy. 
- You call and say, "Wait, l'll be right over," and here's the crazy part l actually wait. 
- l can explain this. 
- l have missed a department meeting. 
- Did you come in a cab? 
- Yes ! - Where's your car? 
- Thank you ! l can't tell you how much this means to me.
- l can. $ . . 
- How do you sleep at night? 
- l'm takin' this.
- You scratched my car! 
- Where? 
- Right there!
- Oh, there. That was already there. 
- Why, you ! - You liar ! 
-You know what l'm gonna do about this? 
-What? 
- Nothing ! Because if l take you to court, it'll drain eight hours out of my life, and you won't show up, and if l got the judgement, you'd just stiff me anyway ! 
- And then bend over and take it up the tailpipe!
- You been here before, haven't ya?

Minions - Despicable Me 3


Oh, Walter, look! These 1._______________ little freaks are headed to Orlando, too!
You are going to Villain-Con, aren’t you?
I am going to get all my favorite villains to sign my magazine!
Scarlet Overkill!
If I was a minion, that’s who I would want to work for.
Welcome to Villain-Con, a biggest gathering of beraldals anywhere!
Any evil 2._______________?
Not bad.
What about you? Any evil talent?
That’s not evil or a talent.
Ladies and gentlemen, a super villain of all are waiting for, Scarlet Overkill!
Doesn’t it feel so good to be bad?
Work for me, then all your dreams come true.
Respect 3._______________!
Banana!
Wow! These cats are pumped!
Maybe I’ll settle them down with a bedtime 4._________________!
Once upon a time, there were three little pigs...
The pigs encountered a big bad wolf who hired the three pigs to come work for her.
One day, the pigs did something very 5._______________, so the wolf huffed and puffed and she blew them off the face of the earth!
The end.

Vocabulary:
headed to - indo para / dirigindo-se para
berandals - pessoas muito violentas
bedtime - hora de dormir
big bad wolf - lobo mal

quinta-feira, 12 de fevereiro de 2015

Irregular Verbs Song


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I hope you've  "learn - learnt - learnt"
Teacher Vinicius Paes

McQueen Lost his tire - Cars



This is it Darrell, one lap to go and Lightning McQueen has a huge lead.

Darrell: All he's got it in the bag. Call in the dogs and put out the fire! We're gonna crown us a new champion!

McQueen: Checkered flag, here I come!

Darrell: Oh, no! McQueen has blown a tire!

Bob: And with only one turn to go! Can he make it?

McQueen's crew: You fool!

The King's Coach: McQueen's blown a tire!, McQueen's blown a tire! Go,go,go!

Darrell: He lost another tire! The King and Chick are coming up fast!

Bob: They're entering turn three!

McQueen: Come on.

Darrell: I don't belive what I'm watching, Bob!

Darrell: Lightning McQueen is hundred feet from his Piston Cup!

Bob: The King and Chick rounding turn four.

Darrell: Down the stretch they come! And it's, and it's...

Bob: It's too close to call! Too close to call!

Darrell: I don't belive it! 

Mia & Tia: Lightning!

Bob: The most spectacular, amazing unequivocally, unbelievable ending in the history of the world! And we don't even know who won!

sexta-feira, 6 de fevereiro de 2015

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas - Car Rental Scene



Duke: We had trouble again with the car rental agency. 

Agente: Mr. Duke, we're all settled. If I could get your John Hancock, you're on your way. 


Duke: Yeah. 


Agent: Listen, buddy, you're gonna be real careful with this car, right?


Duke: Oh, yeah, man. Of course. 


Agent: Holy smokes! You just backed over a foot concrete abutment, you didn't even slow down. What, were you going about, uh, oh, I don't know, miles an hour backwards? 


Duke: There's no harm done. 


Agent: Oh? 


Duke: I always test the transmission that way, the rear end for stress factors. Boy, this is really a nice pen, man. 


 Agent: Hey, uh, listen, you fellas haven't been, uh, drinking, have you? 


Duke: No. Not me. We are responsible people. 


Agent: Damn it, you've got my pen! Goddamn hippies!

segunda-feira, 2 de fevereiro de 2015

Facebook


Mark Zuckerberg: Is that a 1.__________?
Gage: In the sixteenth email you raised concerns about the site's functionality. Were you leading them on for six week?
Mark Zuckerberg: No.
Gage: Then why didn't you raise any of these concerns before?
Mark Zuckerberg: It's raining.
Gage: I'm sorry?
Mark Zuckerberg: It just started raining.
Gage: Mr. Zuckerberg, do I have your full 2.__________?
Mark Zuckerberg: No.
Gage: Do you think I deserve it?
Mark Zuckerberg: What?
Gage: Do you think I deserve your full attention?
Mark Zuckerberg: I had to swear an oath before we began this deposition and I don't want to purge myself. So I have a legal 3.__________ to say no.
Gage: Okay, no. You don't think I deserve your attention.
Mark Zuckerberg: I think if your clients want to sit on my shoulders and call themselves tall they have a right to give it a try. But there's no 4.___________ that I enjoy sitting here listening to people lie. You have part of my attention, you have the minimum amount. The rest of my attention is back at the offices of Facebook, where my 5. ________________ and I are doing things that no one in this room, including and especially your clients are intellectually or creatively capable of doing. Did I adequately answer your condescending question?